Saturday Inspiration

"We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down." 

I was searching for a quote to go with this photo and came across this one.  I thought it was the perfect metaphor and really described my outlook on life.  As I mentioned in my 2013 recap post, it's all about taking risks and stepping out of our comfort zones.  It's about not being afraid to take that leap of faith.  It's not always easy, but it's worth it in the end.  I just want to enjoy my life while I still have it.  When I'm old and grey and shriveled down to 4 feet, I want to look back without regrets and know that I took chances and that I really lived.  My father died at 62 and there was still so much more that he wanted to do and accomplish.  Some of those things I hope to accomplish for him in his memory. 

So take a chance.. on love.. on life.. on faith.. and jump.

On another note, I haven't jumped this high since my cheering days! 

Have a great day loves. 

XO

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Thankful

I hope that all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving with all of your loved ones.  I just wanted to share yesterday's outfit and a little bit of what I am thankful for. 

Top: Choies (here)/ Skirt: OASAP (here)/ Booties: Target (here)

Hat: H&M (similar)/ Tights: Hanes Silk Reflections (here) & (here)

My family said I was channeling my "inner trendy pilgrim" lol and maybe I was!  I just got this skirt which I thought was perfect for the occasion because of the color.  It reminds me of my favorite wine, Pinot Noir!  I decided to pair it with this floral top that I wore before here.  I really just wanted to wear an outfit that was somewhat festive and comfortable enough to eat as much as I wanted to :) I felt like something was missing so I added my hat which I always end up wearing with these booties.  I swear I will wear these booties until the heels fall off.  They are just the most comfortable shoes and they look so cute with everything.  These tights are amazing by the way and I highly suggest them. It is definitely tight season now so these will be a go to pair for me.  Since my outfit was pretty bold in color and print, I went with simple makeup and a light pink lip. 

This photo perfectly sums up my Thanksgiving and the relationship that I have with my mother.  I will always cherish this photo.  The past couple of years have been really rough on us since my father passed, but we are still standing strong and continue to live each moment of our lives to the fullest.  I am so blessed to have such an amazing and supportive mother who believes in me and my dreams.  She has become my best friend and such a great support system.   We laugh together, we cry together and we overcome life's obstacles together.  

I am so thankful for my guardian angel who continues to guide me with every step that I take.  I truly feel his presence around me and I have never felt so protected.  Almost every day for the past few months the number 1106 has appeared in front of me in some way.  Besides the fact that it is my birth date, I knew that there had to be another meaning.  I finally looked it up and it said "Angel number 1106 is a message from your angels." After reading the entire meaning, I couldn't believe how relevant is was to my life right now.  I know my father is still with me every single day.  

I have such a loving sister who I have become so close with over the years and for that I am so thankful.  I know that I can always count on her to be there for me and I really value the relationship that we have with one another. My family is everything to me.  I have some amazing friends who I have been blessed to share so many great memories with and they are such an important part of my life.

I am so thankful to finally be at a place in my life where I am truly happy and doing something that I love.  I appreciate every single person who takes the time to read my blog.  Whether you love it or not, I still appreciate it.  For every opportunity that has crossed my path, I am very grateful.  Through the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, I am thankful because it has made me the woman that I am today.  Thank you so much to everyone who supports me and continues to show so much love.  You make my day, everyday.

Always count your blessings <3

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Birthday Wishes

Celebrating my birthday today! 

Skirt: C/O Dana-Maxx/ Top: Zara/ Shoes: Steve Madden

Coat: OASAP/ Necklace: Forever21/ Bracelets: Charming Charlie

I can't even believe that another year of my life has already passed by!  I'm really thankful and appreciative for all I have, especially my amazing family, friends and angel in Heaven.  This past year I experienced some of the best moments of my life and I am really looking forward to all that is still to come for me.  Last year my goals were to take more risks and step out of my comfort zone in all aspects.  And I did and I am proud of myself.  This year is going to be all about new beginnings and new experiences.  I want to do more and see more and be open to more in my life.  It's so important to challenge ourselves and continue to evolve.  Each birthday I reflect on the previous year to see what I accomplished, what my strengths and weaknesses were and what I can do to be better.  It's all about forward movement and learning more every single day.  Thank you all so much for the love & support that you show. It really means a lot to me.  Ok, I'll stop being all sentimental now haha.  

Here's to a new year filled with health, love, happiness... and of course fashion! 

I'm really looking forward to celebrating with my friends this weekend :) And you can come celebrate with me tomorrow at Dynamite at the Staten Island Mall 5-9pm.  Details HERE.

CHEERS! 

XOXOXO

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Sunday Inspiration: My Father's 3 Year Anniversary

So much of who I am is because of what I lost.  3 years ago today, my father passed away from colon cancer and it still feels like he was just here yesterday.  No matter how much time goes by, it's a wound that will never completely heal.  Every day I keep myself occupied and although he is always on my mind and in my heart, I force myself not to think about it all.  But every anniversary, it's something that I know I have to relive and deal with all over again.  And as difficult as it can be, I think it's necessary for me. I have debated a lot on writing this post because it's extremely personal, but  it's also what has pushed me forward in life these past 3 years.  Sometimes talking about it and writing about it is a release that I need.

Every one deals with loss in their own way.  I was in denial for a really long time because I truly believed that somehow he was going to be ok.  From the time of his diagnosis to the last few days of his life, I had watched him deteriorate.  It was like looking at a completely different person and I just couldn't believe what the cancer was doing to him.  My father had rarely been sick a day in his life.  He always took care of himself.  I think that's why it was so shocking to us all when we found out about his diagnosis.  I relive that day over and over in my mind.  I tried to be so strong for him but my entire world was falling apart.

When we are younger we think that our parents are invincible.  We don't think that anything can ever happen to them.  And I am so grateful that I had him while I was growing up.  He was there for some really big moments in my life.  But then I think of all the moments that he is missing now and the ones he will miss in the future and I am filled with a deep sadness that I can't put into words.  This anniversary has been really hard on me and I think it's because I am finally at a good place in my life and he's not here physically.  

The last week of his life was spent in the hospital and so many of us were with him.  I talked my father through his death.  He kept holding on for me and my sister but I had to let him know that we would be ok.  It was one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do.  I watched my father take his last breath and I felt his last heart beat.  I held on to one of his hands and had my other hand on his heart.  It's a memory that will live with me forever.  In his last few seconds he smiled twice and I knew that he went peacefully.  That image will never leave my mind.  It stays with me always. I am thankful that I was there with him in the room when it happened because I think it would have been worse for me if I hadn't been able to say goodbye.

My father was a principle and I was blown away at the amount of people that attended his wake. I met so many teachers that he had worked with as well as his students and they all said the same thing about him.  They told me that he was such an inspiration and that he had inspired them in so many ways.  That really stuck with me.  He left behind such an amazing legacy and being an inspiration is something that people will always remember him for.  He inspired me in so many ways and he taught me so much about life and myself.  He always pushed me to be a better person. I realized in that moment that I wanted to continue that for him.  He is the reason I got my inspire tattoo.  I wanted a word that represented my father and something that would keep me motivated every single day.  This is why I always say that I want to inspire and why it's so important to me.  If I ever have children it's something that I want to instill in them as well.

If you have never lost a loved one, it's difficult to understand how it truly changes you completely.  I am not the same person I was 3 years ago.  I look at my life then and I look at it now and I am really proud of myself for finally going after what I want.  I am more motivated and determined than ever.  I am filled with so much positivity.  I am no longer afraid of uncertainty.  My father was the strongest person that I have ever known and watching him fight for his life the way he did made me realize that I can do anything in life.  I am me because of him.

My angel got his wings on 8.25.10

I know that he is watching over me and continues to protect and guide me in life. 

Missing and loving you always papa bear.

"I carry your heart.  I carry it in my heart."

<3

Sunday Inspiration

Runyon Canyon, LA

April 2010 

This is probably one of my favorite photos ever that I took with my sister during our first trip to Cali 3 years ago.  This was right before everything happened that I mentioned in last week's post and I remember feeling so free and alive.  It really reminds me of that quote:

"If you want to fly you have to give up the things that weigh you down."

Since I wrote so much the last time, I thought I would keep this post short and sweet.  Surround yourself with positive people.  We should all be trying to build each other up instead of trying to break each other down.  Focus on the important and positive aspects of life and don't get caught up in all the negativity.  Keep that spirit inside of you alive and don't be afraid to take risks every once in awhile.  

Have an amazing day!

<3 

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Sunday Inspiration

Rancho Cucamonga, CA 
January 2013

 I was sorting through all of the photos on my macbook and came across this one that I took during my LA trip in the beginning of the year.  It still takes my breath away.  The scenery in California is so beautiful and inspiring that it's hard not to be moved.  

For as long as I can remember, one of my dreams has always been to relocate to LA.  My Cali obsession started back in grammar school when I formed a huge celebrity crush on Jonathan Taylor Thomas (HA!) I remember my father telling me that one day he would take me there, but unfortunately I never had the opportunity to experience LA with him.  Well time passed and as I got older that crush faded and my reasons for wanting to live there changed.  I went there for the first time with my sister in April 2010 and I fell completely in love with everything.  I came home and told my parents that even though I hated my job, I wanted them to transfer me out there so I could finally make my dream come true.  I honestly put no thought behind it.  I had no real plan.  I just wanted to take that leap of faith and my parents of course, were not too happy with the idea.  I remember my father getting a little upset with me.  "What if something happens to you out there?  How can I help you from all the way over here?"  That was always his way... he always wanted to be able to help, protect, and take care of me.  After arguing with him for awhile, he finally caved and said that I had his support.  That meant so much to me.

I talked to my job at the time to find out the necessary steps I needed to take in order to relocate.  I was trying to get everything figured out.  A few weeks went by and my father got sick.  He was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and suddenly my entire world stopped.  I remember him saying "I'm sorry I ruined your plans.  You can still go to LA if you want to. I will be fine."  I couldn't believe that in his fragile state, he still wanted to put my dreams first.  I told him I was never going to leave his side and I didn't.  Till the very end, till his last breath, I was right there. 

 It made me realize how important the timing is in our lives and that we don't always get what we want at the exact moment we want it.  I can't even imagine what would have happened if I had moved out to LA and then found out about my father's diagnosis. I would have never forgiven myself. It's so crazy how he was worried that he wouldn't have been able to take care of me if I moved, because the reality was that I would have not been able to take care of him.  I thank God that I was right here in Jersey every single day during those last few months of his life. 

A year after he passed, I went back to LA and tried to make the move once more.  I was really inspired to go after my dreams more than ever and I was still trying to find my way back in life.  This time I had actually found a place to live and I had a plan.  But once again, life had something else in store for me and I realized it still was not the right time.  I've tried to revisit the thought a few other times in the past year and something always happens to keep me here.  An amazing opportunity will present itself and it will require me to be in the NJ/NYC area.  Some of the opportunities have come to life while others fell through and it's left me wondering Will I ever capture this dream?  I know in my heart it is still not the right time for me. 

I just wanted to share this story with all of you because unexpected things, whether good or bad, happen in our lives and we are not always prepared for them. We can plan everything out to happen a certain way but something might occur to change it all completely.  We might have goals and dreams that are taking a little longer than expected to reach, but don't lose faith and don't give up.   I've learned that we aren't always given what we want but we are always given what we need. And just because something might not happen today, it doesn't mean that it's never going to happen.
 The past 3 years of my life (since my father passed) I have witnessed too many "coincidences" in terms of timing.  I've learned to have patience, understanding, and acceptance.  I know that whatever is meant for me in this life is going to happen when it's supposed to.  I think I still have some unfinished business here in Jersey and maybe that's why something always comes in the way.  

Let everything that happens in your life be a lesson.  Try to understand it, accept it and move forward.  Try not to be discouraged and don't spend too much time dwelling on all of the things you wanted but didn't get.  Timing truly is everything.

 
If you took time to read this all, thank you! I hope it inspired you <3

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Sunday Inspiration

Just a little bit of inspiration for this beautiful Sunday:

This is a photo my mom took during one of our shoots.  It's so simple, but so beautiful.  Pictures say a thousand words and this one really spoke to me, so I just wanted to share. 

It's so easy to get caught up in the negativity of life.  Too often, we let the words of others affect us and bring us down.  Too often, we let our personal struggles take over.  And too often, we don't appreciate what we have while we have it.  It's so important in those moments where we feel defeated to remind ourselves of our greatness and the amazing things about us and our lives.  Instead of getting upset about all of the things that are going wrong, we should focus our energy on all of the things that are going right. And instead of worrying about the things we do not have, we should try and be thankful for everything we do have.  I know it's easier said than done, but having this mentality can change so much. 

In our weakest moments, it's difficult to find our strength.  When something upsets me, I ask myself "how much importance does this have on my life?"  And in most cases, it has no importance at all.   Life is truly so short and unfortunately not everyone takes advantage of their time here in a positive way.  It's so easy to be distracted or slowed down because of the things going on around us.  We all have our own obstacles and by no means are they easy to over come.  But we should try and let those difficulties fuel us to do better and to be better.  

There is beauty all around us and in each of us.  Sometimes we lose sight of that.  The next time something goes wrong or someone speaks badly of you, just remind yourself that you are amazing, you are worth more and you deserve more.  Focus your time and energy on all of the things that you want to accomplish, and let that negativity push you towards your goals that much more.  It all starts with a positive mind and thats where our strength begins.  I know this post won't change the world, but if it can change at least one person's mentality, then that's good enough for me. 

Before fashion and before music, there was always my writing.  It's just another piece of me that I get to share with all of you <3 

Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope you all have a great day! 

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Dwell In Possibility

Photo Cred: Grant Legan

Here's a little inspo for today:

When you believe in yourself, anything is possible.  It sounds so cliche but it's the truth.  I think that sometimes we can be our own worst enemies.  We get inside our heads and tend to fill them up with insecurities and doubts.  We doubt our dreams and capabilities. It happens to us all at some point or another, typically when we are struggling with something or feeling discouraged.  But the most important thing to remember is that a positive mind is extremely powerful and if we can turn those doubts and fears into faith then really, anything is possible.  The world is filled with endless opportunities.  Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can come together.  So if something doesn't work out the way you hoped it would don't get discouraged and don't let that be a reason why you stop following your dreams.  Your time will come.  Just be patient and know that everything happens in it's own time.

 If you want something, go out and get it.  Make it happen.  

Dwell in possibility. 

XO

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